March 14, 2021
My proposed tax plan for the United States of America is as follows:
It’s a progressive tax, and an aggressive tax focused on smoothing out inequality between the highest and lowest percentiles of income. Folks’ll find reasons to gripe about these numbers, but I think they’re pretty darn good. And the real magic of this policy proposal kicks in for those who report over $999,999,999 of annual income.
The day you cross the “The Bil” you are officially Retired. For the next ten years, you can do everything and anything you want within the law. You are given a security detail, access to a jet, and a private island. You get a solid gold credit card, but at most places they wave off the charges. Everyone knows who you are. It’s your decade to spend, baby, spend. You can jet around the world. You can watch your favorite team courtside every night. You can finance a Rae Dawn Chong movie just to watch it fail. You can host a Star Trek convention. You can even party with the other Retirees who are in the same boat. Or should I say: 80-foot yacht.
There are however, a few things you can’t do during your decade of debauchery:
Yeah, being a billionaire under this scheme is probably less fun than it is now, what with the reduction on owning and controlling people. But this would affect only 0.01% of the world’s population.
Under this new scheme, you’d expect some folks approaching “The Bil” to write a few checks in order to avoid the hassles of Retired status. Especially when you consider that:
On years where no souls cross the imaginary barrier to billionaire status, there is only the broadcast of a lone, white candle, flickering in the darkness. A solemn symbol of the power of sensible tax incentive.