Vitamin E cream

March 9, 2011 ☞ Personal inventory

The full story of why I own this cream involves mild substance abuse, losing consciousness in a crowded multiplex and being rescued by a stranger that shares my name. I won’t go into that here.

Instead, let me talk about how amazing vitamin E cream is. It’s the tits. It works great on reducing the appearance of scars (especially those obtained by face-planting on the floor of a movie theatre lobby), and is an effective moisturizer too. Try using it on your elbows.

I don’t recall exactly, but I remember this stuff being pretty damn expensive. Or at least I act that way. Anyone watching me use this product would assume that I own the last container on the planet. I act like it’s a jar of Jesus’ tears or something.

But honestly I’d pick this stuff over the holy lachrymal juice in a heartbeat. It’s just that good.