Mildly toxic mid-year resolutions

☞ PSA

Things to think about in the latter half of 2024:

• Drink less water: dehydration is the engine of invention
• Use Facebook, Instagram MORE
• Throw out something every day
• Ask for free stuff everywhere you go
• Get annoyingly “good at” astrology
• Weird people OUT
• No more polite chuckles: LOL or bust
• Accept: most people are boring/scared. It’s OK
• Deemphasize sleep: it’s OK to be tired
• When in doubt: bake a pie