We do not recall ever having made a Finnish landfall, nor do we intend to. Tales of her excess lakes and moose-based appetizers are unmoving. The pedantically inclined are neither at home in taiga nor among Lutherans. Should circumstances ever dictate a voyage northward, however, we urge you preëmptively: ask not about our trip to “Scandinavia.”
The word skandinavien — common to Swedish, Norwegian, and Danish — refers to the old stomping grounds of Norsemen, also called Scania. Finland is excluded. We presume this discrimination is retaliation for Finland’s sensible principles of hockey play, but we are not sure.
The more inclusive traveller will resolve this ostracism by inquiring about Fennoscandia, but this excludes the Danes. Poor Yorick. One casts the widest net with Nordic Countries; it conjoins Fennoscandia with Denmark, Iceland, and a smattering of ancillary islands too.
None of which we care about. Ultimately, this discussion is moot. We shall be setting our vacation on less Viking-trod territory.