You may depend on it


It tempts our semi-digested luncheon upward, to delve into matters such as this, but for the sake of excruciating correctness we insist upon this brief parley regarding the nomenclature of a certain adult undergarment.

The brand often recalled as a punchline in incontinence-based humor (we prefer commedia dell’arte thank you), is Depend. Not “Depends.”

It’s only a letter, but carried within that sibilant abutment is a connotation of contingency or condition that one prefers to avoid in matters of such gravitas.

“Are these adult diapers ready for the mission they have been placed on Earth to fulfill?” one might ask. “Depends,” is not the answer that evokes confidence.