A stapler that is older than I am. This is the Arrow 210 and used to belong to my father, before absconded with it for my personal paper-fastening needs.
It’s the most reliable stapler I’ve ever encountered, piercing paper with an extremely satisfying crunch. It also weighs about 10 pounds, so I’m certain you could murder someone with this thing were you so inclined.
I haven’t used it in years, but I’ll consider it for my next office homicide.