There is no such place as maybe

☞ Microprinciples

Every “maybe” can be smashed like a Kinder egg

“Maybe” sounds like a temperate haven between tropical yes and boreal no, but there is no “in between” yes and no, because The universe is not binary. “Maybe” feels like a neutral space between extremes, but this is a delusion, because You most definitely have a bias. Behind every decision is a travel agent asking you to choose a destination and there is no such thing place as “maybe.”

“Maybe” is mostly a weasel word you use to avoid the truth. Take this scenario:

Friend: Do you want to go camping this weekend? You: Maybe.

Take a microscope to “maybe” and you’ll see it’s a disguise for something else:

Maybe as: A feeble no

“Because I don’t like saying ‘no’ I’ll say maybe for now until I muster up the courage to say no, or I might acquiesce and say ‘sure’ when you ask again.”

Maybe as: A tenuous yes

“Because I’m not feeling a whole body yes, and a scarcity mindset prevents me from turning down options, I will commit in part. This makes me feel secure while absolving me of any guilt if I change my mind later.”

Maybe as: I don’t know

“I don’t have enough information right now to answer.”

The first two are bunk.

Be kind by being clear. Using “maybe” as a way to obscure the truth or manipulate situations isn’t kind. If you don’t want to do something, say so. If something interests you, commit. If something else comes along, you are permitted to change your mind. (But don’t do this a lot, because that’s flaky.)

Sometimes “maybe” means “I don’t know” (which is A-OK) and even that can be unpacked to reveal a deeper truth:

“I don’t know if I can go camping, because an old friend is in from out of town. I’d love to do both. I will see if they want to go camping, but if they don’t, I must prioritize them.”

When faced with a question that needs your input, share what you know, and make a decision. Ask for more time if you need it, and use that time to find out what is really holding you back. Every “maybe” can be smashed open like a Kinder egg.

To declare “maybe” is to come to a fork in the road and stop walking. It is a rejection of the gifts offered by this abundant universe.